It can be frustrating when you have ideas for your life that just don’t work out how you planned. As part of academic advising, I had things all planned out, I knew what classes I was going to take when. In spring of 2013, I would graduate with a Bachelor degree in Neuroscience. Everything looked so nice and neat on paper.
The past few weeks have been a real struggle. Between going to Cleveland Clinic to evaluate a possible genetic condition, the development of a seemingly invincible urinary tract infection, and some other health issues, class has taken a back seat to my health. After talking with my professors, I had everything planned out how I was going to make up work and catch up this past week. Everything again looked great on paper.
Unfortunately, life doesn’t always go quite so smoothly as it looks on paper. A bit of bad timing of a stomach flu knocked me out this entire past week, destroying my plans for make-up work. As a result, I now have to make-up the missed make-up work as well as the regular work from last week. This combined with everything else was causing more stress and anxiety regarding trying to catch up and keep my grades up. Unfortunately, stress causes more pain and a vicious cycle begins.
Last week, I was determined to stick it out throughout the semester, regardless of the circumstances. Careful consideration and prayers brought me to the point that I was able to decide that it was time for me to take a medical leave of absence from college and go home in an attempt to break the cycle.
Someone mentioned to me that if they were in my situation, they would be asking God why He had “ruined” everything. But the thing is, I have discovered that this does nothing. There is nothing wrong with asking why and I certainly do my share of it, but at this point in my life, I’ve learned that trusting Him is easier than asking “why?!”
Looking back, the times I asked God why make more sense now than they did in the circumstance. I suspect that the same will be true of this situation. In the meantime, I’ve been making a list of things I can look forward to now. This list includes getting a rabbit, spending some time in a friend’s horse barn, hanging out with friends, and doing some graphic design work. I find that looking at the positive helps put the negative in a better light.