This post was written when my blog was called Out of the Flames
So, why the title of this blog? I wanted a title that portrayed a little of my story, who I am, in spite of the pain I’m in currently. Because CRPS pain is so often described as a burning pain (and I would agree, my arm often burns), I thought of a Phoenix who rises out of the flames. In spite of devastating events that threaten to burn my life into ashes, even when the doctor diagnoses me with a condition that destroys my life like an inferno destroys a house, or when my elbow burns with pain so bad I cannot concentrate, I refuse to succumb, I will rise up out of the flames and find a new life, though it may be different than what I’ve known before.
Though my plans for the future have been destroyed and my dreams devastated, I find hope. God is my creator, He made my nervous system, and He knows every intricate nerve that communicates with my brain. I know He didn’t make a mistake making me, He knew exactly what He was doing.
Even when all else is stripped away, I can trust that God knows exactly what He is doing in my life. I pray that this time will be one of blessings – growing closer to God and reaching out to those who are lost.
My goals in life are still the same – love God with all my heart, help those around me to know Him more, and reach out to those who cannot comprehend salvation, but my means of accomplishing my goals have changed. Just like Paul, I’ve been thrown in a circumstance that seems unpleasant, but I praise God because it gives me a story. It offers a way to meet people I might never meet, it blesses me with the ability to concentrate on God when everything else has faded into the background, it forces me to accept help and rely on other Christians, drawing strength from them when I am down.
Would I choose to have CRPS? No way, but I praise God for the blessing it is to me, even in the darkest of circumstances, I will praise my God because He is worthy. Though I know I face unrelenting pain, I say to God “bring it on, just so long as you use it to glorify you.” Blessed be His name, for He is worthy of endless praise.