1. Bugs are really, really fun, but you have to watch for the stinkers and the stingers.
2. Car rides mean fun smells.
3. Amber thinks she can sing, she can’t, but she still tries in the car.
4. Might as well settle down and take a nap at the bookstore, Amber will be there forever.
5. Drinking lots of water right before bed means that Amber will be half coherent when letting me out at 3:00 a.m.
6. Cats are fun until they just lay there doing nothing, but rabbits scratch back.
7. Guinea Pigs serve no purpose other than to make interesting squeaky noises.
8. If I drop the bone Amber gives me to carry at the pet store, chances are, I won’t get it back (for a few days, anyway), if I carry it to the register, then out to the car, I can chew it on the way home.
9. If I want to be petted, and Amber is in bed, but reading or journaling, rolling around on her hands/feet is considered being petted.
10. Best way to make Amber laugh – roll around on the floor making “aurgh” noises, while randomly chewing on a foot.
11. Amber may give me homework to chew, but her professors don’t like that much.
12. When playing fetch, if you run back to Amber, you have to run after the ball again because she takes it away and throws it again most of the time. It is easier to run off with the ball, lay down, and enjoy chewing on it until Amber decides to make me bring it to her.
13. Amber teases me when I snore, but she snores too sometimes.
14. Cactus aren’t good chew toys.
15. Toenail cutting hasn’t killed me yet, but just to be safe, I should make lots of dying-dog-noises. If I squirm it just takes longer, so just the noise, no squirming.
16. Making puking noises is a great way to get Amber to stop the car fast.
17. If the microwave is making popping noises, there is a fair chance that I’ll get a special treat of the only human food I get – popcorn. Either that or Amber left metal in it.
18. Snow is full of fun games to play. But summer means swimming in the creek.
19. If outside when vest is removed, it is required to roll around in the grass or snow immediately.
20. Snow balls are super fun to chase, but very, very hard to pick up.
21. Corn husks are the bestest toy – ever!
22. The elevator at school is an attention box – Amber pets and/or talks to me when shut inside.
23. It is fun to play in the creek, but impossible to catch the minnows. And crayfish pinch.
24. Amber has fun in the swimming pool. I do not. So I shouldn’t jump in, even if she sounds like she is having fun.
25. Amber’s home made dog treats aren’t very good, she kinda burnt them. But they make a nice mess when I crunch them some, then leave the crumbs all over.
26. If Amber is sweeping the floor, it is really fun to run through the pile she has made and track it all over the floor (and it usually gets me some outside play time).