For the first time in a long time, I am doing nothing, not because I have to but because I can. Sure, I have a few things I could be doing, but they aren’t urgent and can wait. It seems bizarre that if something I want to do pops into my head, I have the energy to hop up and do it. It almost seems foolish to waste my energy on doing nothing, but I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.
So, why don’t I have anything to do? Because my final papers are in, my final exams are over, and my year of college is complete. Well, I do have an online class to complete, but that isn’t due until mid-July, so I’m free! Free, that is, until I get home and I’m stuck in my room unpacking, but for now, I’m enjoying the freedom of doing nothing. Problem of doing nothing is that there is nothing to distract you from the pain either. In fact, all this rambling is my attempt to do something so I don’t have to think.
My dorm room is pretty empty, since I’ve packed and taken most of my stuff home last weekend and the weekend before. In fact, I have free time to do something fun, but nothing fun to do something with (except my lap top obviously). I just have some clothes and my school books left.
I must say, I’m fairly proud of myself for finishing this semester. It may be the longest, hardest, and most painful school term in my life. Since January, I have had two surgeries, two nerve blocks, and a three-week continuous epidural in addition to numerous drugs but still have managed to complete 22 credit hours of school work. Not only that, but I have managed to pull off good grades as well (I think I have all A’s except one or two B’s).
Who said that CRPS ruins your life? I have overcame the pain and pressed on, even when others told me repeatedly to quit, to give up, to go home. I refused, pressed on, and emerged triumphant and I hope that this is an example to others. All of the long, sleepless nights (because of the pain or homework), the slow, painful typing, the excessive studying while in pain, all will have paid off if I learned something (I did) and if I grew closer to God (I did), and if I was able to make a change in others lives. I’d say it was a pretty successful semester, but I am glad it is complete, though I hate saying good bye to all my new friends.